Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Poornima Chahar Remembers Her Father




A daughter's sad, fond and moving remembrances of her father.

Many a times such incidents or I must say accidents occur in our life that make us wonder “why the hell this happens to me always? ”... ……The incidents - which we can never forget, which we can’t imagine even in our wildest dreams. But as the time slips through our hands like grains of sand. The memories of that instant grow stronger and stronger. What I am talking about here is the incident that left a part of my life empty forever – that can never be refilled by any other person ……yes, the place of my beloved father.

So without wasting any more time I take you down the memory lane to the unforgettable day of my life.

“Who knows what tomorrow is going to bring when we have no idea what the next moment has in store for us”– anonymous.

I can’t elaborate exactly, how it happened but I’ll try my best to present even the slightest possible details of that black day of my life. The day traces back its existence to the year 1996. It was 13th august 1996 when I lost my father forever. The afternoon is still fresh in my mind. It was around 1 o’clock in the afternoon when the three of us –me (7), my elder brother Abhi (11), my younger brother Shantanu (5) came back home after school. My father was at home on that day waiting for us to be back from school. I ran towards him and started telling him about my day at school. At that time my mother was out of town, to my granny’s house at the funeral of her grandmother. In her absence my aunt was there to look after us. Around 1:30 we all joined at the dining table for lunch my cousin brother Narender also joined us for lunch. He was living with us as he was doing his graduation. We all were having great fun. After finishing with the lunch my aunt and Narender went for a small nap. And the remaining three of us agreed to watch movie and my father also came along with us. We all were sitting in the T.V hall and my father was lying on the cot. When around 3 o’clock he experienced some sort of pain in his chest but he did not paid much attention it. But it was not what he thought as just after 10 minutes he felt that the chest pain was increasing rapidly. He asked Abhimanyu to wake up Narender and if he doesn’t then pour a glass of water on him. But Narender did not arouse from his sound sleep. My father actually wanted him to search the phone number of Dr. V.P goyal (our family doctor) and call him because the intensity of pain in his chest had increased so much that he was unable to get to the phone. But after seeing that Narender was in no mood of waking from his sound sleep, he made an attempt to reach the phone and call the doctor but just before reaching there he suddenly collapsed. Actually he got a heart attack. Shocked by the sudden collapsing of my father Abhimanyu ran to my aunt to wake her up and aroused her immediately. Then she woke up Narender and then he called our neighbors to lend us a car. Within few minutes one of the neighbor came with the car and two-three of our neighbors lifted up my father to get him seated in the car. My aunt with my two brothers also went with them to see the doctor. Meanwhile my younger brother and I were unaware of the incident as we busy in watching the movie in other room. Around 3:45 I started to get ready for my tuition when I realized that nobody was at home except me and. But I didn’t gave it any serious thought and asked Shantanu to get ready for tuition, but he denied to go to tuition after seeing that nobody was at home to compel him. In spite of all my efforts he did not go to tuition. So I went to tuition alone. My tuition teacher was our next to next-door neighbor. When I went there she inquired about my fathers health I replied that he was absolutely fine but she told me that she saw him lying unconscious on the front seat of the car alone with my aunt my brothers. I came back from tuition and was wondering what might have happen to my father, as he was absolutely fine just a short while ago. Suddenly a thought struck my mind what if my father was dead???…. But my heart denied this wild thought. When I reached home I noticed that nobody was present there except my brother Shantanu who was watching cartoons. I also joined him till the other people come back home. Mean while on the other side within 10 minutes my relatives took my dad to the hospital. On their way to hospital everybody in the car made attempts to bring my father back to conscious but all was in vain. After arriving at the hospital he was immediately taken to the emergency ward where doctors made every possible efforts to save him, but suddenly he got another severe heart attack and his struggle for life ended half an hour the emergency ward. Every body standing outside the ward was praying to god for his safety. When the doctors came out with expressionless faces. One of the doctors informed my relatives that they fail to save them. Everybody busted into tears at this unfortunate news as nobody had ever imagined that he would leave us in such an unexpected manner. After completing the formalities of the hospital all the people come back with my father’s dead body. My aunt suddenly came inside the house continuously weeping and stated to pack our clothes and other such stuff. When I inquired what happen the she told me that we were went to grandfathers house then locked our house. When we came out of the house I saw some one lying in a very unusual manner on the front seat of the car and when I went near I saw that he was none other then my father his mouth filled with white effervescence and there were cotton buds inserted in his nose. But suddenly somebody covered his face with a white cloth. That was the last time I saw my father. When I sat in the car observed that everybody was bewailing. Being a child I was unaware of the fact that I have lost my father forever. My aunt was hugging me and weeping constantly. I was not able to understand that had happen and why everyone was crying. After half an hour of journey we reached our grandfather’s house and there also I heard the mourning of relatives after some times a dead body wrapped in white cloth was placed in the middle of the “aangan” of the house and my relatives started crying even more louder then before.

The news of my father’s death started spreading and reached to my mother and my maternal relative. As soon as they heard it they left for our hometown and they arrived at 3 o’clock in the morning. I just cannot imagine now what was her condition at that moment her grief was immeasurable. My younger brother Shantanu, unaware of the whole incident was playing with my younger cousins. I joined them to but suddenly all of us were locked in a room with my aunt as the cremation ceremony was going on. After this when I inquired about my father from my mother she said that he had went to meet god and would return back soon. This statement was carved on my heart forever and I am still waiting for him to come back. I always requested god to send my father back to me but I never got any reply.

It is often said that you don’t know what you have until you loose it! But I its actually like …….. You always know what you have you just never thought you would loose it. That is the case with me now. As a grown-up I wonder if I have ever imagined my life without my father. I never thought he would leave me at such in early stage and in such an unexpected way.

Memories of My Beloved Father

I shared some special memories with my father. I was his favorite. He loved to have a daughter. When I was born my father was on the seventh sky after hearing that he has become the father of girl child. It was he who named me ‘POORNIMA’. He loved me more than my two brothers. He always brought gifts for me whenever he went out of the town. Due to my father’s excess love I had become very stubborn. One day he scolded me for something, which I can’t recall, I started crying and when I was crying my breath got stuck and I was not able to breathe. My father poured water on me to bring back my breath. After two minutes I was able to breathe a little and turned fine after few minutes. After that my father took me in his lap and kissed my forehead and said – “ I could have lost my daughter”. After that he never scolded me.

My father was the one who taught me to put trust in God. He taught me a small prayer, which I offer to God every night. I still remember that I use to keep an empty bowl in front of God every night and then every morning rushing to check it and finding the bowl full of sweets. For me it was God who kept the sweets. But it was my father who filled the bowl with my favorite sweets just like he filled my life with beautiful colours. At times when I use to find the bowl empty I asked my father – “Papa what happened, where did my sweets go?” My father replied – “ don’t you remember you fighting with Shantanu last night”. Actually he uses to say this when he forgets to fill my bowl with the sweets. This practice turned me better. I reduced fighting with Shantanu.

One more incident, which I can’t forget, is “the daily Ice-cream treat”. The ice-cream seller use to come in our colony every night. My father and me loved ice creams. It was usual for us to have ice cream after dinner. We never missed it.

I have few such unforgettable and lovely memories of my father deep inside my heart. I feel proud when people say – “ She is just like her father”. His memories, his love, his teachings, his deeds are with me forever. I love him today and ALWAYS………..





1 comment:

Aakanksha said...

Reading through the entire post could only make me imagine the great deal of courage author has,reflected through her writing.